mission accomplished
I distinctly remember having lost $200 already into online poker, and reaching for another $100, thinking… "man, if this doesn’t go right, I’m going to have to stop completely."
It was around that time that I started realizing that post-flop bets are made in fractions of the pot, not table minimums or multiples of that. Betting more when I had the best of it (and realizing that I should get out when I likely didn’t) made my play suddenly, unquestionably profitable. I went on a tear with tournaments, experimented with cash tables, and built that $100 up to $250.
I was just barely profitable, but when you consider the rake, that’s not bad. I didn’t look back when there was a chance to redeposit for a bonus, but when I did that, I started an Excel sheet with my deposits, balances, and winnings. When you play even-money poker, bonuses aren’t sucker bait. (That is, unless you play differenly when you’re burning off a bonus, which always seemed to happen to me.) They’re a valuable way to build your bankroll.
I took some money out of Poker Stars and moved it to Party, and played the cash tables there. With a decent bankroll, the play there is pretty attractive. (As I’ve mentioned earlier, a $25-max NL table is a dangerous place to learn cash games, but if you can absorb that loss occasionally, the water’s fine.) With money in two accounts, it became imperative that I track my wins and losses, and soon I could see that, combining real-life with online play, I was profitable. (Largely thanks to a real-life tourney I won, making up for the $75 or so I was behind in online-only play.)
But in two days, I’d covered that gap, and proceeded to cash out all but $100 of my original investment. (Better to have $110 in there than $10… you know, risk of ruin.)
I turned that into $120, and went to a friend’s house for a couple of tournaments. The first was okay, but the second offered rebuys. I didn’t want to stay out that late. People argued about the dumbest things imaginable. Everyone was more drunk than I was. And I lost money overall, while missing out on an evening with my family and a good night’s sleep.
It kind of summed up the past six months. I didn’t want to do it much anymore. While I’ve felt this way every once in a while during my six-month poker career, I’d just made a nice deposit into my bank account, bought a new iPod, and started working on a new PC in the basement. I was ahead, but for how long? I was a consistent winner at the small tables, but I didn’t know how, and I wanted to read some more books. Anytime I read a book, I start thinking about how much better I am for having read it, and I start testing my knowledge on the tables, applying fresh lessons in inappropriate situations, getting myself in trouble. I didn’t want that inevitable dip (which always comes back, but still) eating into my tiny lifetime profit.
The Excel sheet started to bug me. Since I was up $20 online, I was playing with a $20 bankroll, not $120 or $520. I couldn’t take risks that would expose that "seed" money, and when you stop taking risks, you’re not playing poker at all. I cashed out the $100, thinking that the $20 that was left would either be wasted, or the seed money for another run to the top.
It turns out that a naked $20 burns pretty fast, especially when I’m reading a new book. Ha ha.
So I’m positive, lifetime, online and offline, and I’ve got pocket change (literally: Party doesn’t cash cents, only whole dollars) in a couple accounts, but this will be the first weekend I don’t play online (barring a frantic relapse and paying Neteller’s 8.9% on instant deposits) in about forever.